Brainiac Humorists T-Shirts

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

The Map of the human brain

'Here's MY information highway!'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

'And this is Allan...he's the brain in the family!'

Miss America IQ Pageant

The intellectual.

'I don't care if he does have an I.Q. of 169. I still think he's faking.'

Genius Envy

Brains - Java Man, Neanderthal Man, Modern Man.

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and the Woman who Mistook her Husband for a New Mercedes.

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

Spindle Neurons

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

Switch on brain

Reading newspaper makes you smart.

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

Bigger Brain

Thinking Cap (a hat in the form of a brain).

"Apparently the will was typed up wrong and UCLA got all your husband's money...and you get his brain!"

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

X-RAY

The power of the brain

'I'm not saying I won't eat left-brained people's brains, but I prefer right.'

"As explained, Parkinson's Disease is a depletion of dopamine in the brain. But before you fill up that space with a lot of negative thoughts, let's discuss your treatment options."

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

Where the hell did you get that brain ?

'...I thought maybe your brain had developed the ability to reason before mine.'