Brain Chemistry Buff Pillows

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Apples for sale

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

"Technically, it's a mammal."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

You must be this tall.

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."