Bought A New Appliance Pillows

'Have you tried not watching it, sir?'

Come dine with me!

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Entertainment systems

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

Cooking

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.