Bottle Bard T-Shirts

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Cow writer.

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Shakespeare in the clink

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

Wine Talking

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

My first mistake.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

John takes a personivacation.

"Renovating your bathroom?"

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

Executive MFA

'£17 a bottle. It must be a fairly good wine.'

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

I wrote a poem about our failure to capture and secure the highway. It's called "The Road Not taken."

"Yes, that'll be fine. I think my wife would like something to drink too."