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'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

'Wilson, I'll need you to make high pitched screeching noises until I get this modem working properly.'

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

"So Marty, how's business these days?" "Great. I've just sold my homing pigeon for the 34th time."

"It's the drink talking"

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"Sipsies?"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

A breakthrough moment for the Wright brothers. How about some wings with that?

"So,... Can I call you?"

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

I heard you're going to Mars to star on some reality show. Yep. Mars One. We launch ten years from now. Ten years? You don't have the attention span to wait ten minutes. In ten years, you'll have forgotten all about this. And when that day comes, I will mock and berate you mercilessly. You'll be dead in ten years. Ridiculing you gives me a reason to go on! Being around you gives me a reason to go to Mars.

'You have no idea how difficult life can be when one is totally irresistible to men, Jane.'

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

'Stop me when I start extolling the virtues of socialism.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

'The first thing you delegate - all personal responsibility.'

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'I'm not naturally dense you know...Its taken years of practice.'

'I still have all my own teeth but my head is false.'

"I don't know anything about politics or foreign relations, but I do know that Madelyn Albright's a babe."

"Shall I fry it or flush it?"

"It's the big guy."