Bookworm With A Conscience Pillows

A dead plant in the environment section.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

K9 Literati

The Da Vinci Cod

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

Childhood

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

The book is so much better than the film..

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

Man's Logic/Woman's Logic

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

Pastoring for Dummies

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

The Colonel at home.

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'