Bookworm Seeking Understanding T-Shirts

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

The Da Vinci Cod

K9 Literati

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

Have you ever read Dickens, minion? No. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. How about Upton Sinclair? John Steinbeck? Who? … Marx? Mark's what? Thank you for reminding me why I hired you, minion. Can I take my weekly lunch break today instead of Friday?

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

Fiction. Mystery. History.

"Read the book!""See the movie!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

The book is so much better than the film..

A dead plant in the environment section.

Pastoring for Dummies

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

The Colonel at home.

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."