Bookworm Of Contradictions Gifts

Sex and Violence....Hell and Brimstone.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

The Da Vinci Cod

K9 Literati

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"Life after death"

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Trivia/Great Literature.

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Have you ever read Dickens, minion? No. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. How about Upton Sinclair? John Steinbeck? Who? … Marx? Mark's what? Thank you for reminding me why I hired you, minion. Can I take my weekly lunch break today instead of Friday?

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

Auguste Comte

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

The book is so much better than the film..

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

A dead plant in the environment section.

Pastoring for Dummies

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

The Colonel at home.

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."