Bookish Jester T-Shirts

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Books / Coffee table books

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

Note Book

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

'I found it to be the kind of book that once you put it down you never want to pick it up again.'

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. You know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

Poet's Corner

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

William Blake.

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Pathology.

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

Watch the author miss his deadline 4 to 7

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

Michel De Montaigne is quotes as saying the following...

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).

"No, no, I'm just here for the relationship."

Chicken Soup For The Soul's Soul.

'Ah, Gibbon. Are you learning anything?'

…You're looking for the Harry who books?… Liz is officially out of the race for "librarian of the year"…

"My first concern is the well-being of my crew."

'Good boy.'

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"