Book Publication Prints

"This is probably the most mature, astute novel of the last half century that I've just finished. Me want ice cream."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Meet the author"

First Novels.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

The Dorrie Decimal System

Bookworm Sleepover

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Television Readers.

No-Work Orange

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Gay Times...

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Silence of the Chickens...

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Paranormal A-Z...