Book Collection Prints

Inbox and outbox for books

"That's my storage shed. It's where I keep all the densely worded, multi-page documents I've ever received and have no intention of reading."

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Just what, may I ask, do you think you're doing, Jennings?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Just one of the many ways self-help books can improve people's lives.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Victor Hugo

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

The Missing Sock Returns

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

J. R. R. Tolkien

Rare Books

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."