Book Agent T-Shirts

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'

"You were accused, tried and convicted by the media. With that much publicity, I'd like to double as your book and movie rights agent."

'If you can't afford representation, the court will appoint a lawyer and a book agent.'

'It's another office memo from that Mr. Tolstoy.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Sue the Author 3PM

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Author does not do tricks."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.