Bonus Celebration T-Shirts

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"I am dressed for the job I want."

The Pencil and Sharpener

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

Help wanted. Various positions available.

Ace headhunters.

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

'Time to leave your comfort zone, Hoskins.'

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

"Remember saying you'll give us a raise when 'pigs fly?' Well, it's time to pay up."

"Oh, just great, Dick. How are things going with you?"

'Ok, Barker. I'll give you your own office - if you promise you won't mark it.'

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'