Boisterous Guest Pillows

Party Animals.

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

"Um, I think it's my job to make them dance."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

"This is one time of year we count our blessings. . . and not our calories."

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

Fluffy was never quite the same after Aunt Ruby's visit.

'Surprise!'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

'See! I told you my dad is a boxer!'

'I still have all my own teeth but my head is false.'

I was going to tell this guy to shut up, but is conversation is actually more entertaining than the movie.

"Tonight: date with an angel: gonna meet her at seven: be on my way to heaven. Get the picture, Bob?"

I had hoped to file a missing persons report by now, but he won't leave.

'Good news, folks! The plumber is here!'

'I limit myself to just one glass of wine a day...'

With Hunting Season comes Storytelling Season.

'And the crowd goes wild! In all the wrong ways.'

'I haven't heard this much booing since Backstreet Boys announced they were reuniting.'

"It's nothing, dear. Just a couple of old friends..."

Just a minute..