Body Noises Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Harold, it's good you listen to your body, but must I listen to it too?"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Kritik's Korner

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

The Philip Marlow family

Scarpia's Palace

B.B. King

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

"You know damn well what noise!"

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Library Grand Opening

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

Crime Writer's Society.

"In this one, I can hear the sound of traffic."

Playing dustbins

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Dave Brubeck

"Cat got your tongue?"

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

Communication