Body Modification Fan T-Shirts

'... and to think this is the same kid who was terrified of getting a shot at the doctor.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"You've changed."

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

"The court granted me a new identity!"

"I'm going to be rich, famous, and irresistible to the opposite sex any day now, Randy." "I think you've had one too many hot cocas, little buddy." "No, really. I've written a note for my descendants and buried it in a time capsule in my backyard." "Once they read it, they'll time-travel back to the 20th century and genetically engineer my embryonic self." "They'll bestow me with superhuman charisma, epic good looks, and money-management skills." "You're forgetting that to have descend

A Mime Artist pretending to feed the pigeons.

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

Viggo Mortensen

The Reaper's Arms

Drusilla realised how different her boss looked now they met after hours.

"Mine's camper."

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

'You should have seen me when I was a caterpillar!'

Alberto Giacometti.

An old mod has customised his mobility scooter.

"And then, having shaped up, he shipped out."

"Isaias has made landfall, bars, beaches, tattoo parlors and schools will all be open."

Miguel Ferrer

Closet.

"How much longer are you going to be?"

Before the accident? John was a truck driver.

"The big difference between Halloween and Day of the Dead...is we look at the afterlife as a reason to celebrate...not to scare anyone."

Bummer about your claustrophobia, Ted.

Frederick Robinson

'Great disguise, Max. How'd you do it?'

Happy Xmas

Street Musician

'Gerald's genes have been crossed with a chameleon, haven't they, Gerald? Gerald?'

An man with an axe removes tattoos.

"Hansen, you're a genius! A chicken steak!"

'I know that you have changed Irene, but I still think we can work things out.'

A servant unfamiliar with his mistress's voice