Body Art Enthusiasts Pillows

'Thanks, it's an English word - it means 'spiritual warrior'.'

Window cleaner has number tattooed on his back.

Kid coming home from school to parent: 'I couldn't remember my locker combination, so I got a tattoo.'

Piercings

Punk and bull admire each other's nose rings.

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

Agatha tried desperately to spice up her marriage - 'And where, Ma'm, would you like that tattoo?'

Tattoo Parlour: No Personality? Come in and buy one.

Leopard to other: 'I can't change my spots, so I'm getting a tattoo.'

Kids today!

'He was tattooing MUM on my arm when we got rowing about income tax and benefits.'

'Let me get this straight - you did that to yourself!'

'Don't do it son. Trust me, no matter how cool it seems now, you could regret a tattoo in a few years.' (Tattoo reads Gary Glitter's Number One Fan).

"You don't think he'll regret it when he's older?"

"That's right. It says I have a long history of making bad decisions."

"He had himself pierced once too often."

Priest disrobes, underneath his body is covered in tattoos.

'I distinctly asked for LOVE and HATE!'

Piercing Wedding - With these rings, I thee wed.

'Ted, some of the staff are complaining about the naked lady tattooed on your forehead.'

'I had my tattoo removed!'

Worm Punks

'OK, OK, quit rushing me.'

'This year tattoos are out!...'

Tree piercings.

"I'm wondering how you've achieved your special effects."

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

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Tattoos sagging with time

"Me, a footballer. . ?"

Maternity tattoos