Boardroom Prankster Pillows

Humor in the workplace is serious stuff. Never laugh before the drum roll.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Here and There Trays

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'