Boardroom Luminary T-Shirts

"I can take his 1000 watt smile, but his 5000 lumen LED outdoor bright idea lightbulb is too much!"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

Board of Directors enter the 'Tunnel of Corporate Love'.

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

Daimler, ChryslerSturm and Drang meeting

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

Paul exhibits a classic symptom of Attention-Surplus Disorder.

'It's the next big thing, but I can't fit it through the door.'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"So we actually can agree on something...rolled sleeves, loose ties, and no jackets!"

"Before I continue past my opening joke, I want to know if she is laughing or crying."