Boardroom Performer T-Shirts

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

"You all know today's speaker. He's the 'King of Big Sales'."

"It's our belief that Mr. Wetherall is one of the very few C.E.O.s in America who can do Chuck Berry."

The presentation was going well. The board were polite and attentive but deep down Raymond knew that they were thinking: "What does this guy know about the futures market? He's just a young pup."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

"And I'm sure no one will mind if we fold a few clothes while we talk."

'The 'meows' have it...'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

'Of course, things are looking up --- from where we are, everything is up.'

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

'Hey, I've got an idea. Let's try making a profit.'

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

"He's been studying The Art of Bore."