Boardroom Humorist Mugs

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

"Which brings us to my next point."

'My job is to make decisions. Your job is to make them good decisions.'

'Let's begin our meeting. . . everybody talk, nobody listen.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

We found 'im!

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Let's all link hands and think positive thoughts...'

'I realize you were just saying what everyone was thinking . . .and if you do it again you're fired.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"We want a woman to join the board and we all agree you're our an, Ms Adams."

'If the S.E.C. had its way... we could only report what we earned.'

'I'm willing to step up and accept full responsibility as soon as it starts turning around..'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

The Advantages of a Solo Meeting: 'The proposal passed by unanimous consent.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"We must never take for granted the precious gift of hindsight."

"Innovation requires curiosity...and that's why I've hired..."

'The only negative is he made A's on his business ethics class.'

'That's really not necessary, gentlemen, but it doesn't hurt.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Ladies and gentlemen, the only way we can salvage this situation is to move to a taller room...'

"I told you it would be a mistake linking directors' pay to profits."

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

"But won't absconding with the company's funds cast the board in a bad light?"

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

How Not To Negotiate

'Then it's agreed...We put the greater good on the back burner.'

"One final question, will you be taking prisoners?"

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."