Boardroom Baron T-Shirts

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Hendricks, I just heard someone say that the best things in life AREN'T THINGS! Find out WHAT they are, WHO has them, and make an immediate cash offer for the ENTIRE LOT!"

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

Acme Toys Ltd

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'You myst blow at least a 2.3 on the 'drunk with power' breathalizer before they'll promote you to upper management.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

"How are we on bread?"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

Hot Towel Web Service

Paul exhibits a classic symptom of Attention-Surplus Disorder.

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."