Bmi Philosopher T-Shirts

'BMI is an objective scientific measure of your weight in relation to your height.' - 'Oh.' - 'Height?' - '5'6'' - 'Weight?' - '80kgs' - 'Woah! No more biscuits for you, tubby! Ha, ha!' - 'Hey! Let me see that!'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

Pop Culture for Teens

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Business man sees himself as a shark

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

Worked Well In Groups...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"I noticed a few browns."

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.