Blurred Vision Survivor Prints

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

Dog leading a blind dog and blind person.

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

I had my eyes dilated.

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

Blind woman, blind dog, seeing eye cat.

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

'Your profile said you were tall, dark, and mysterious.'

"Hate? Crime? Violence? Never heard of it."

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

Guide dog reading paper over a man's shoulder.

'Your blind date reminded you of a TV star?, 'Yeah -- I think he was wearing Columbo's raincoat.'

'Okay, I admit the photo I sent you wasn't that recent, and I'm not really a male model. But everything else is true!'

Seeing Eye Dog bumps into pole.

'Seeing eye marsupial.'

'Damn it Fifi! I told you not to chase squirrels!' (Blind woman being abducted by aliens).

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."

"Rex, Rex, put your glasses on! Don't sniff that bottom, it's not another dog: it's a skunk!"

"Where do I sign? I'm totally blind without my contacts."

"...and a report of a blue-skinned, green-haired male breaking into the School for the colour blind."

"This is your second cousin Adalberto. He was a soccer player until he was kciked in the head and got a conclusion."

"Okay, forget the second line. Can you read the first line?"

Male pattern damnation

When seeing eye dogs go bad.

"Trouble is that I can't look for my glasses until I find them!"

Really Big Print

'Just looking, thanks.'

A veteran of many horrific blind dates, Barb carried a copy of 'Fodor's Guide to Restaurant Back Doors' with her at all times.

Blind man with a partially sighted guide dog.

"Let me guess. My blind date couldn't make it, so he sent his Dad instead?"

'That's the last time I go on a blind date — her stupid seeing-eye dog bit me!'

"Cruz takes the worst possible view of everything."