Black-truffle Devotee Pillows

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Transylvanian backpackers.

Happy Hour

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Just don't let the old man get you down.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Halloween Selfie

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

'I would kill for a truffle.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

IT security.

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"How nice. A truffle."

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"Something nocturnal."

Black Truffles!

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

"After the truffle season peaks, we like to kick back and do a little clamming."

"She has perfected her micro-nap to look as though she is thinking."

"They were only supposed to find truffles, but then they found Roger - a man who curiously smells a lot like truffles."

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

'I warn you; I'm no pig to be truffled with

'I'll just grab a coffee...'