Black Hole Debater Gifts

Celestial Navigation

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'You present a very convincing argument.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'Say again: a train going 50 Miles Per Hour leaves Chicago heading to a black hole where the rules of motion change as a function of distance from a singularity ... and then what?'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Frankly, it’s too grim for a comedy, and too silly for a tragedy.

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Like Minded

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Is there a God? God knows...'

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Wondering. In my day, when a body said I wonder why dust bunnies are called dust bunnies, it led to all sorts of delightful speculation. We could while away hours debating whether it was a marketing ploy by big broom ... or whether it dated back to Napoleon, who had a fetish for dirty rabbits. And if we were lucky, opinions could get so heated that fisticuffs would ensue. Wondering is just one of many lovely human experiences utt

Approved Debate Questions

Nearly a third of the earth's life-forms have gone extinct. Cut! Stop with all the facts. This is debate club! But we're using a cable tv talk show format! What should I say? Unsupported opinions

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

Global warming debate.

If You Can't Beat Them

The last word.

John Newman

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'