Bizarre Humor Aficionado Pillows

101 uses of a dead cat: kite.

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Apple Pie Abduction

Trappist Monk Discord

Pastry Hat

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

HELLth Food Sprouts

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Boomerang cow.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"Who's next?"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

One way only.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"It's my helper trout!"

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'