Birthday Of A Young Boy Pillows

'Anything to get out of taking a bath.'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"He likes it."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Face painting.

"Feel free to take notes."

Swinging on a star.

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

The No No No's

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"When did she start crawling?"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Piano Recital

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

Downloading Pregnancy

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

'Baby's first two-step.'