Birth Plan Strategists Pillows

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Babies.

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'Good news dear, the doctor says we're going to have twins.'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"Are we there yet?"

New initiatives

Already overworked at the Vlasic Plant, an exhausted stork shatters a young couple's dreams,

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

Baby boom expected due to corona

'To make a long story short, your biological clock has jet lag.'

"We should consider something other than the condom."

"We know you're in there, Mommy! We've got the bathroom surrounded!"

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

Susan found she had responded well to her fertility treatment.

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

GPs to be required to offer appointments in advance.

'Okay, Mum said no, but if we can get to Dad before she has time to brief him, we could still turn this into a yes.'

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

Man launches a condom catapult at the baby carrying stork.