Bird Watching Gifts

"I'm a bird dog."

'No, I said 'paralegals'.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Canada Geese

"You ever have flying dreams?"

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

"Well, I was hoping this might scare the other squirrels away from the bird feeders...but they seem to have made me their king!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."

". . . Hey, hold that thought, I gotta use the windshield. . ."

"Frankly, I don't see the resemblance."

"It was the classic fight or flight response. Next time, try flight."

Daily Affirmations: 'You can succeed!! You are a Peli-'CAN' not a peli-can't.'

'I don't need your bloody help, I just need you to listen!'

'Take two aspirins and stick your head in the sand.'

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

"Ex-cuse me! We're trying to hold a meeting here."

'Have you tried switching OFF and ON again?'

'Eric isn't a big fan of wind farms.'

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

'No. There's no one who works here by that name. Let me connect you to our branch office.'

A bird's song is trapped in a musical stave.

Pigeon Training School

"Maybe I should run on the beach."

Ed's Car Wash,

'Yes I saw it, but we're here to hunt ducks! Try to stay focused, Bob!'

'Request permission to approach the bench, Your Honour...'

'Every once in a while, a window of opportunity has glass in it'

"Don't repeat this."

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

'You're right - we don't belong here.'

How to tell you might be getting too close with your pet.

"I'm not flying south. Not without insurance."

Birds form formation of 'up-yours' V-sign to man trying to shoot them.

'He's got nothing left kid, this is your round.'