Bird Watching Gifts

"I'm a bird dog."

'No, I said 'paralegals'.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Canada Geese

"You ever have flying dreams?"

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

"Well, I was hoping this might scare the other squirrels away from the bird feeders...but they seem to have made me their king!"

"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Frankly, I don't see the resemblance."

". . . Hey, hold that thought, I gotta use the windshield. . ."

"It was the classic fight or flight response. Next time, try flight."

Daily Affirmations: 'You can succeed!! You are a Peli-'CAN' not a peli-can't.'

'I don't need your bloody help, I just need you to listen!'

'Take two aspirins and stick your head in the sand.'

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

"Ex-cuse me! We're trying to hold a meeting here."

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

'Have you tried switching OFF and ON again?'

'Eric isn't a big fan of wind farms.'

'No. There's no one who works here by that name. Let me connect you to our branch office.'

"Maybe I should run on the beach."

Ed's Car Wash,

Pigeon Training School

'Yes I saw it, but we're here to hunt ducks! Try to stay focused, Bob!'

'Every once in a while, a window of opportunity has glass in it'

How to tell you might be getting too close with your pet.

"Don't repeat this."

'You're right - we don't belong here.'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

"I'm not flying south. Not without insurance."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Before the end of November, we need to learn to do that.'

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'Couldn't you just send out an Email?' (a messenger pigeon complaining)