Bird Poop Combatant T-Shirts

'Oh, for Pete's sake! Will you tell Milligan that it's HIS turn to clean the bird doo off of the telescope lens?!'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

Birds doing the 'wave'.

'I guess they're not here for contact.'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

Bird Watching with Binoculars

'Will you stop! You know that freaks me out!'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'Who.' 'Who.' 'Who.' 'Or is it whom?'

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

"Sheesh, I did NOT say we have to redo everything! Just look at some swatches with me."

'She thinks of them as her children...'

"Eh, who cares if climate change is killing birds? I'll just make more."

Scientists agree, that millions of years ago, the bald eagle probably had a comb over.

Timmys Pet Ostrich

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

"Avoid eye contact. This guy's a real loon."

Bird watchers.

'Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment.'

'They want full access to the feeders or they're going to show us their own version of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds.''

Clark's Nutcracker

"You don't want me. I've got bird flu!"

Woodpecker sitting on snowmans nose

"Think about it. Have you ever seen an ugly cardinal—I mean, except at the Vatican?"

'I HAVE to put it in my mouth first.'

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

'Let's see...Eggbound...Eggbound...Here it is!...

"Look, professor, a Tibetan Blackbird or Turdus Maximus."