Bird Lover's Chuckle Pillows

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Saving for Retirement.

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

Cyclist Flamingoes

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

A couple of birds out on the town.

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"Well, that backfired."

Blackbirds.

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

"He's a bird-dog."

Closed for Summer.

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"

Squawk dirty to me...

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

Artist Hazards

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

"Let's go to one of those places where they regurgitate the meal right at your table."

CEO and COO.

"It's a thongbird."

'Hey guys, wouldn't it be alot easier if we just wore layers?'