Bird Behavior Analyst T-Shirts

"My God, you're right ... it all makes sense. I crossed the road because of my parents!"

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I love this time of day."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

Beaver tower

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

Bird Bath.

Birds doing the 'wave'.

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

'Will you stop! You know that freaks me out!'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

A hunter hitting his first bird.

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

'And once more with feeling.'

"People are crazy."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Humming Bird's Hum.

"Mating display of the white-bellied boobie"

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

"Why would I demean myself to be Master's best friend when I can be Master's master?"