Biotech Buff Prints

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

'...and if you want to get even with the place down the road, some tomato seeds with cactus genes could be blown onto their fields.'

"Good evening we would like to talk to you about genetically modified crops."

'No, its not low on toner, Dr Higgins. Just admit you don't know how to clone sheep.'

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'Believe me, gene therapy is perfectly safe.'

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

Ice Cream Clones.

"I'm looking more like my father everyday"

A day at the transgenic races

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

Maize

'Get your DNA Uncoiled' advert.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Apples for sale

"Meet the author"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

God Sneezes Out Creation

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Moses' Tablet

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

"Technically, it's a mammal."