Biological Clock Humorist T-Shirts

"Oh my god! I'm 40 and unmarried...the hands on my biological clock are giving me the finger!"

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

How Glaciations Begin

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

The new Physics

Table Of The Elephants

Evolving/Devolving

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'