Billboards Gifts

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Director/Action Man toy.

This Message Has No Content

Creative department

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Save Our Universe

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

Direct Marketing...

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

Honesty in retail

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

"You can't lose pal. For a small fee, you make huge commissions every time you sell those babies."

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

"First, the disclaimer: I'm a doctor portraying an actor portraying a doctor."

They get into debt so fast these days...

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."