Billboard Critics T-Shirts

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

The americanisation of vulture.

Kritik's Korner

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'I give this one about three months...'

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

Armageddon

Giant Monster in Bath

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

Suggestions box in a toilet.

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?