Bill Payback Aficionado Pillows

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Abacus.

I am billing, therefore I am.

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

"I charge by the grain."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

"It's about all the treasure laid up here."

Rich react to higher taxes.

'Reinventing myself.'

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

Duel Fuel?

"We lawyers are very conscientious about our charges and I remember that one specifically: I called to wish you a happy birthday and I got your answering machine so I just billed you a quarter of an hour."

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

"We don't let computers mess up your medical records. We do it by hand."

'If you loan me five bucks for lunch, I'll co-sponsor that $80 billion appropriation bill of yours.'

"Oh come on Dad, you know I'm not VAT registered. Just give me my pocket money!"

"He killed in rehab."

'My homework? Why, at home.'

Two coffees, Miss Jones - one with sodium pentathol.

"When it comes to technology, Fred lives in the moment. The moment is 1987."

"By all means, don't limit yourself to only one Tuesday a year..."

"Kid, you got a 'While You Were Out' message."

"Separate checks as always, Dr Jekyll."

'I'm looking for legal advice.' 'Don't get involved with lawyers. That will be £75.'

Inland Revenue VAT - "Mr Batson, the consequences are here."

'Get these over to the acronym department A.S.A.P.'