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'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

'Are we there yet?'

Tourists in Egypt

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Desert Island Statue of Liberty.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Easter Island is still a tourist site after the oceans rise due to global warming.

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

The Decline of Europe

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

Citizen of the world.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Actualities - Killing time whilst waiting for the Exhibition to open

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

Fleeing Kabul

Snake Charmer's Snake on Strike.

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

Redecorating Easter Island.

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

'Globalsiation risky? How d'you mean?'

'We're there already? I'm still watching my video!'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"And that's why you go on safari."

'Stay away from pirates off the coast of Africa, fighting in the middle east, smog in China. . .'

"A ticket to the Munich Beerfest, please."

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

Pisa Hut.