Big Pharma Skeptic Pillows

"It's fine to discover cures, but, remember, chronic conditions are our bread and butter."

Doctor Sponsored by Pharmaceutical Companies

"Make him take 15 of these a day until we feel better about what we're doing to him!"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

Profits for Big Pharma

Prescription Drugs '96.

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

GMOs

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

"It's the same experimental drug but now it's in a cupcake."

'Looks like the cable merger is concentrating too much market in one telecommunications giant.'

"Yes, healthcare costs too much in the U.S., but overmedicating patients is expensive."

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

'Anxiety drugs are driving up big pharma stocks, thanks to global armed conflict!'