Biden Enthusiast Pillows

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

"Cartoonist are harmless? Not at all!! These people have weapons!! Here, see for yourself!"

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

Militant Pacifists

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

Baby with straw to eat out of bib.

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

"My parents just raised my home school tuition."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Multiple personalities with blogs.

"I'm afraid it's the bankruptcy virus."

"He can't speak to you at the moment - he's bonding with his compensation package."

Surgical Self-Service

I knew we were in uncharted waters when our chickens started asking questions like these:

Audacity of Hope.

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

"See? No socialists."

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?