Biblical Story Commentator Pillows

'Thankfully, a loving God turned Lot's wife into something useful - a pillar of salt!'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

"King Herod sent us."

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."