Biblical Comic Relief Gifts

'TERMITES!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Touché"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

The First Printed Bible

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

Dog Birthdays

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

'No no!! Not that one... The BIG one on the top shelf!!'

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

When clowns run out ammunition.

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

"I've changed my mind"

"I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that what you have on your back may actually be my backpack."