Biblical Comedy Buff Prints

"One more, "get thee behind me Satan" and you'll experience "death do us part"."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank