Bible Story Analyst T-Shirts

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Moses' TV guide.

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"King Herod sent us."