Bible Jokes Appreciator Pillows

"Turning the water into wine was amazing, now how about some fruit punch for the kids."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Fishing with God

"OMG, LOL!"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Have your people call my people."

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"Don't forget the screenplay."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."