Beverage Testing Pillows

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

Low-Energy Drinks

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Wine taster with mineral water

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

Wine of the Day Club

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

Scientific Tea.

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

"I don't know if I've mentioned this before, Greg, but you are a very attractive man."

Grinds

'I hate making decisions - just bring me a bottle of each.'

'I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests.'

Scot's beer.

Cocktails and Beer

"Still sparkling"

Potato-ade - unleash the awesome power of the potato!

'I'm seizing the day.'

Man sees energy drink go hopping by.

the Lesser-known Nogs

Global Warming.