Beverage Bickerer Mugs

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Teapot

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

'The first cocktail.'

Wine Talking

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

'You've had enough!'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

"We don't need a test drive. Just let us try out the cup holders."

Good duck, bad duck.

The Corkscrew Thrower

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

'I think globally but I drink locally!'

'Our small drink is medium, our medium is large, and our large is illegal.'

You heard of the 'drugs tsar' and the 'fat tsar'...well this is the new 'waiting room tsar!'

"I'm ready to switch"

East End Ginger Beer Vendor

'I noticed your wine list only has reds and whites. Don't you have any yellow wines?'