Bets Beginner T-Shirts

"He's a great stock picker, but he's lousy at picking the office sports pools."

Little league world series of poker.

A day at the races

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

How I met your mother

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

Destination casinos...

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

Post Game Day Betting.

Nostradamus.

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

election polling

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'Okay, maybe I was defeated for re-election, but at least I beat the point spread!'

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

A day at the races

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

'I'll give five bucks to anyone showing me a fish more than ten inches long.'