Best Friend With Quirky Taste Prints

Skeleton playing fetch.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Rap music

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"I don't like your application."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

"...and in conclusion..."

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"He's starting to flag a bit"

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"Maybe if we had better teachers we could learn new tricks."

Rainbow skier

Dessert - the most important meal of the day.

Chippunks

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

'Is that a wig?'

"How am I looking for my first day back at work?"

Have you seen Dorothy lately? She's sooo over the rainbow!

"You're doing great boy! Just don't bark."

Nature gave some animals weak eyes for a good reason. Never buy your pet rhino bifocals.

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

Robinia Floribunda

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

"I hope you're not allergic to cats...Fluffy just loves visitors!"

'Call me a slave to fashion, but how do I get down from these without killing myself?'

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

"Now where did I park my car?"